Terlalu Lama, 28-08-2013

Sudah lama ku menanti dirimu
Tahu tahu sampai kapankah
Sudah lama kita bersama-sama
Tapi segini sajakah
Entah sampai kapan ooo
Entah sampai kapan

Hari ini ku akan menyatakan cinta, nyatakan cinta
Aku tak mau menunggu terlalu lama, terlalu lama

Sadarkah kau, ku adalah wanita
Aku tak mungkin memulai
Sadarkah kau, kau menggantung diriku
Aku tak mau menunggu

(hari ini ku akan menyatakan cinta, nyatakan cinta)
aku tak mau menunggu terlalu lama, terlalu lama

What I Want To - Do If I Have a Lover (Duet)

Everything feels alright, only with you, my boo
(Girls)
If I have a boy friend,
there'll be so many things I want to do
I've dreamt I have a boy friend like that
The first, kissing him in the street
The second, catching the early train for Chooncheon with him
The third, going on a picnic with him
The fourth, the piggy back ride
The fifth, couple-ring is basic to our love
Boo boo boo It'll be really sweet

The thought of it makes my heart flutter
I'll try to do every one a day with you
I'm so happy to be with you
I'm so happy we both are together
You're a real treasure to me, baby baby baby baby baby boo
(Boys)
If I have a girl friend,
there'll be so many things I also want to do
I've always envied another's girl friend
The sixth, I'll go to late night movies with you
The seventh, I'll go to amusement parks with you
The eighth, I'll hold a surprise event for you
Boo boo boo I'll be really happy because of you

The thought of it makes my heart flutter
I'll try to do every one a day with you
I'm so happy to be with you
I'm so happy we both are together
You're a real treasure to me, baby baby baby baby baby boo

I've been alone on my birthday
I've had nothing do on the weekend
But I'm eagerly looking forward to such named days

I'm so happy to be with you, I'm so happy we both are together
Wherever we are, or whatever we do
I really want us to be one

Everyday what I really try to do with you,
is to tell you, "I love you"
What I really want to hear from you, is such a word, "I love you"
Thank you for coming to me
I'm so happy to be with you
You are my only love, baby baby baby baby baby boo
Baby baby baby (my one and only love) baby boo

The Meaning of Friendship

I'm sorry, but I can't promise the last one :'(

Galau Itu Baik!

Setelah pengasingan diri gue dengan para lelaki-lelaki, akhirnya emang ga jauh-jauh pilihan gue adalah kembali yang ke dahulu kala (ada yang mengerti?).
Gue tau ko gue emang bego, tapi apa coba yang bisa gue lakuin? nothin', kalo adapun paling berbagai macam advice dtg ke gue dan gue pun gatau mesti ikutin yang mana, itulah namanya galau. Gue udah coba lupain, 4 taun men gue survive dari orang yang gue pikir ga memungkinkan untuk ada timbal baliknya ke gue, sampe akhirnya gue coba pindah ke oranglain yang justru malah ngebuat gue makin down dan yaaaaa bisa dibiliang agak gila sedikit (yg dkt sm gue taulah seberapa galaunya gue waktu itu).
Gue coba lupa, akhirnya lupa. Tapi bukannya malah ketemu yang baru dan yang better dari semuanya malah gue balik lagi ke yang dulu, yaitu penantian gue selama 4 taun berturut-turut, tapi kalo gue totalin sampe sekarang itu bisa sampe 5-6 taun aja loh! Kurang setia apa coba gue?. Siapa yang mau bilang kalo gue itu goblok? Gue terima ko. Emang itu faktanya, gue cukup goblok nungguin orang yang ga ada pastinya sampe sekarang.
Kenapa gue ga coba move on atau yang kita sebut bahasa kasarnya adalah cari pelarian yang baru? Lo tanya gue ampe 18027397123801x juga jawaban gue cuman 1: "GATAU".
Gue memang bodoh dalam hal ini, amat sangat tidak expert.

Moving On is The Best Part

Ga kerasa ya, gue udah mulai move on dari semuanya......kalo dipikir-pikir emang buat apa gue stuck sm orang yang sebenernya ga ngebuat gue untung sama sekali malah ngerugiin gue apalagi dimasalah belajar sm sekolah, kalo ada dia gue pasti ga belajar deh buahahaha yaudahlah ya.....

Jadi, intinya gue berusaha move on dan Alhamdulillah berhasil ya walaupun kadang-kadangn masih keinget, yailah namanya jg cewe susah dong untuk masalah move on, yega? (cie) dan gue sekarang mau fokus dulu deh ke masalah UKK, masalahnya gue dapet surat pemanggilan orang tua nih..................deg-degannya udah kaya apaan tau, takut banget parah.....yaAllah semoga ga kenapa-kenapa ya, cuman sebatas dibilang harus lebih rajin lagi aja (amin) jangan yang macem-macem deh, ga kuat mental jiwa fisik gue buat dengernya juga -,-. okeoke buat janji yuk! yaaa satu aja dulu, fokusin sekolah ga usah mikir apa-apa dulu.......

HHHHHHHHHHH ga kerasa ya udah mau pisah aja sm XI IPS 2 hueeeee, sedih sih tapi emang harus pisah semuanya, wajib naik kelas semuanya XI IPS 2 (amin) I lobeee my XI IPS 2 :*

Yours, Right?

I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And it's better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn
 
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's coming from my heart 
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn
 
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cause' the party ain't jumpin' like it used to 
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
 
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same by myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)
 
I'm twisted cause' one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on 
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cause' one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on 
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return
Usher - Burn

Done and Done

Entah ini semuanya kesalahan gue full atau dia cuman buat cari alesan supaya bisa ngejauh dari gue.......gue gatau, tapi gue sadar ko kalo gue salah dan gue udah berusaha untuk minta maaf ya, tapi apa balesan lo? maafin gue aja belom.......yang ada lo malah tiba-tiba nge-unfollow gue dr twitter lo terus besoknya lo nge-remove gue jd follower lo....maksut gue, please banget dong mainan lo kaya gitu? gara-gara kesel sama masalah kecil (mungkin menurut lo masalah besar, ya I have no idea) terus lo jadi ngilang gt aja, gue sih ga masalah (serius) tapi maksut gue kan seengganya lo bisa bilang "iya nad gue maafin" DONE! lo mau ilang ke pedalaman suku dayak jg gue ga peduli, ini perasaan yang ngegantung.....dibilang gue salah oke iya emang gue salah, tapi lo juga ga bisa dibilang bener 100% kan?

After all we've been through, cukup selesai dengan kesalahan gue dalam penggunaan kata-kata? cukup selesai dalam artian "bener-bener selesai dan gue ga kenal lo lagi" oh ok fine. Tanpa ngomong apa-apa lo ilang gt aja, dimanaaaa sisi gentle lo sebagai cowo? dimanaa sifat lo yang lo bilang kalo lo berani, yang udah keliatan dari semua cerita lo yang lo pernah ceritain ke gue?. Gue cuman mau denger kata "iya gue maafin" itu doang ko, kenapa sih? susah banget...apa perlu gue ceramah depan muka lo terus gue bilang---Allah aja bisa memaafkan umatnya, masa lo yang seorang manusia biasa yang ga bisa apa-apa ga bisa maafin gue yang sama-sama umat-Nya sih?------NGGA KAAAAN? gue jg gamau, ngapain gue ceramah kaya gt....sadar sendirilah. Anyway, gue nulis blog gini bukan maksut gue buat nyidir lo atau ngejelek-jelekin lo (sumpah) tapi gue cuman pengen lo tau, kalo gue merasa bersalah dan gue cuman pengen bilang "Firman Zainal Tamin, thanks for everything and I'm sorry" that's all, gue tau gue frontal sampe gue tulis nama lo disini, tapi itu biar lo tau maksut gue nulis blog ini apa.

Galau

I hate you, you makes me feel so deep in love............and you're gone. Where are you when I need you the most? Today is the "galau" day ever in the entire month, but the worst part is I can't make the tears comes out.......I hope tomorrow will be better than today

Au revoir! nadia,

Sorry for my bad english and there was no intent and absence of meaning 

Your character is so gentle, your smile is so warm, your kindness, thoughtfulness, which made me adore you. Although sometimes you do crazy and made me disgusted to see it, but it's just jokes.

So, err... love?  

Love Song

There's something's that I have to tell you bout, can't hold it in my heart, all this pain is breakin' me down thought I found my one true love, couldn't show you how I feel I was stupid, didn't know where you stand or what your feelings demanded from me, this is a story of a true tragedy, I gave up my heart, I tried to give you all of me, we've come to the ending somehow, I don't know what to do but I don't wanna forget now, I love you baby, I still love you, I tried to be all I could be my heart gonna wait forever, I'm still holding on to all of our moments together I love you baby, I still love you
 
wish you were here with me but memories are all I have left, baby give me your hand so we can both understand this love, I pleaded your love wouldn't pass all the pieces of my soul want to live in your heart, even though it hurts, I'll make a brand new start and lay the rest all the moments that played with my heart but just before I do, I gotta let you know that no girl will love you more 

Listen, I'm without you, all I know is right now
I love, I'll always love you

Depression of Confession

What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.