College

This is the second rejection of college, well the second is I'm on the waiting list but still I didn't get it. I don't know what to do actually, little bit empty soul ryt now. I thought I can got in, which is the college I always dreaming of. I feel stupid but what the heck, there's nothing I can do either. I want to cry, I do. But it will waste my tears so why I have to bother it. Maybe its because the rejection has been twice and the second one feels nothing (fyi the first time I knew that I didn't get into the college that I want to be, I cried like... hell) What the hell am I going to do? And the answer is "I don't know yet".

Yours, Right?

I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And it's better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn
 
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's coming from my heart 
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn
 
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cause' the party ain't jumpin' like it used to 
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
 
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same by myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)
 
I'm twisted cause' one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on 
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cause' one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on 
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return
Usher - Burn

Love Song

There's something's that I have to tell you bout, can't hold it in my heart, all this pain is breakin' me down thought I found my one true love, couldn't show you how I feel I was stupid, didn't know where you stand or what your feelings demanded from me, this is a story of a true tragedy, I gave up my heart, I tried to give you all of me, we've come to the ending somehow, I don't know what to do but I don't wanna forget now, I love you baby, I still love you, I tried to be all I could be my heart gonna wait forever, I'm still holding on to all of our moments together I love you baby, I still love you
 
wish you were here with me but memories are all I have left, baby give me your hand so we can both understand this love, I pleaded your love wouldn't pass all the pieces of my soul want to live in your heart, even though it hurts, I'll make a brand new start and lay the rest all the moments that played with my heart but just before I do, I gotta let you know that no girl will love you more 

Listen, I'm without you, all I know is right now
I love, I'll always love you

Depression of Confession

What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.

Rest In Peace Uni Irda

Hari ini adalah hari yang cukup ga terduga-duga menurut gue, karena disaat-saat gue pengen tidur tiba-tiba ada tlp dr bokap jm 7 pagian, gini pembicaraannya:
Bokap: "dek, kepasar minggu sekarang juga"
Gue: "ngapain sih? males ah!"
Bokap: "uni irda meninggal"
Oh men gue shocknya minta ampun, gue langsung bangun dr tmpt tidur terus gue mandi dan caww menuju pasar minggu.. anyway gue belom pernah cerita ya sodara gue yg benernama Irda Lestari yang biasa gue panggil uni irda itu kenapa?
Jadi, uni irda itu adalah anak dari kakaknya nyokap gue yag berarti uni irda itu keponakan nyokap gue dan sepupu dari gue, hm dia menikah sm uda nogi dan mempunya 2 anak perempuan yang gede namanya Della(2 smp) dan yang kecil namanya Dinda(sd), jadi awalnya itu yang gue tau uni irda pertama terkena kanker rahim dan sampai pada akhirnya menjalar keseluruh badannya dan dokter nganjurin untuk kemoterapi, yaa oke uni irda menjalani kemo itu kurang lebih 3 bulanan, awalnya sih gpp tapi lama kelamaan rambutnya jadi rontok dan akhirnya uni irda jadi botak, uni irda awalnya sempet ga terima tapi akhirnya uni irda bisa ngerti juga.. oh disini gue udh mulai ngerasa sedih bngt, dan akhirnya 3 hari yang lalu nyokap dapet kabar kalo uni irda matanya ga bisa liat dah ya shock lah, terus dibawa kedokter dan ternyata dia menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya di rumah setelah pulang dari rumah sakit pagi jam 6an. gue paling sedih kalo ngeliat Della, yah disaat-saat dia umur segitu pasti dia lagi butuh-butuhnya sama sosok seorang ibu, yaAllah tabahkanlah mereka. amin

Au revoir! nadia,